Rating: PG | Runtime: 4 minutes
Release Date: July 8th, 2016 (USA)
Studio: Illumination Entertainment / Universal Pictures
Director(s): Bruno Chauffard & Glenn McCoy
Writer(s): Glenn McCoy & Dave Rosenbaum / Sergio Pablos (characters)

Chop-ah, chop-ah.

The Minions used to be adorable little sidekicks—hilarious creatures ripe for slapstick in a secondary role to the films they were in (Despicable Me). Then they became bigger than the franchise that spawned them. Toys were made, companies recruited them to sell products, and their own feature length film was inevitably released in theaters. That’s all well and good because I’m the first to say I enjoy those goobers as much as the next. But why is Illumination transforming them into dead horses? Are they trying to kill them off once and for all to open the door for something new? No, they aren’t. These guys epitomize their brand. Just watch the opening title card flash “illuMINatION” before the lights go on.

If they think they can keep going as they are, however, it won’t matter if they’re trying to murder them or not. They’ll soon be dead in the collective consciousness anyway. So, stop wasting time and energy creating short films of them bouncing about like Mower Minions. It’s not fun. I chuckled a couple times, but the joke has gone beyond stale towards brittle and ready to crack. Less is more: a cute “bee-doo” fire alarm hits like gangbusters in the middle of Despicable Me 2 while watching them pick up poo and scream “poo poo, ca-ca” doesn’t. This thing skews to three-year olds and alienates everyone older, subtly planting a seed of frustration and annoyance for the next time they grace our screens.

The story follows their desire for an infomercial’s banana blender seen while lounging around the house. Desperate to earn enough money for one, they hijack landscape equipment and walk over to an old folks home to cut their lawn for twenty bucks. Hijinks ensue, gibberish is screamed, and a gnome sweats (the best part). The animated senior citizens laugh as we watch with a yawn. It’s a tired shtick that has lost it’s appeal enough to force my fan of the gimmick into finally understanding what so many others have for quite some time. But this is the curse of Pixar’s competitors. Whether Dreamworks’ penguins, Blue Sky’s Scrat, or Illumination’s Minions—gags only go so far.

It’s no coincidence that the Toy Story aliens never received their own vehicle to cash-in on irreverence. Pixar understands their power and knows when enough is enough. Hopefully the other studios will catch on.

---

A scene from MOWER MINIONS.