Rating: NR | Runtime: 86 minutes
Release Date: December 9th, 2022 (USA)
Studio: RLJE Films / Shudder
Director(s): Joe Begos
Writer(s): Joe Begos

This guy killed the kid next door!

Just because you can use military-grade robotics to create an animatronic Santa Claus that’s able to replace so-called “degenerates” at your local mall doesn’t mean you should. Because all it takes is one faulty line of code to turn those bundles of holly jolly into homicidal maniacs hell-bent on destroying any human (young or old) that crosses its path.

That’s all the exposition Joe Begos provides (and needs) for his latest holiday slasher Christmas Bloody Christmas. The local toy store has one of these new Santas and they’ve ignore the nationwide recall since it’ll be taken down soon anyway. So, Dora Madison’s Lahna and Jonah Ray’s Jay keep their plans to have sex on Santa’s throne at closing time, unaware their red and white sentry is about to split them in half.

I really enjoyed the first two acts as their lo-fi aesthetic and snappy dialogue kept me entertained until the punishing violence could take its place. I would have liked an actual story similar to Begos’ VFW, but it’s not necessarily crucial to having a good time. Riley Dandy and Sam Delich’s Tori and Robbie are enough fun with their easy, flirtatious rapport while cameos from Jeremy Gardner and Jeff Daniel Phillips help keep the one-note aspect of a killer Santa on the loose relevant.

Things eventually fall apart when the film decides it doesn’t want to end en route to falling into a loop of repetitive back-and-forth carnage pitting Dandy and Abraham Benrubi’s menacing robot against each over and over again, but doing so is the difference between a sixty-minute movie and an eighty-minute one. Milk it a bit, hope things don’t grow too stale, and blow stuff up. It does the job.

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Abraham Benrubi in CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS.