Rating: NR | Runtime: 96 minutes
Release Date: May 19th, 2023 (USA)
Studio: FilmRise
Director(s): Allison Otto
Writer(s): Mark Monroe & Nick Andert

They saw themselves as masters of victimless crimes.

Of all the revelations made in Allison Otto’s documentary The Thief Collector—from the obvious (southern philistines in cowboy hats saying they wouldn’t pay five dollars for a de Kooning painting) to the sinister (potential bodies buried beneath the Alters’ property) to the insane (a speech pathologist and music teacher stealing famous artwork for decades without anyone knowing)—the wildest thing to me is just how lazy and/or indifferent institutions like Sotheby’s and the Metropolitan Museum of Art are to donation/sale inquiries by unknown private citizens.

That’s not to say they should spend exorbitant resources to research every worthless piece of ephemera from every estate sale in the world. But to just swipe left on the photos Ron Roseman sent without asking for more information is astounding once you discover exactly what was ignored.

It’s all about presentation, though. Ron couldn’t know he had anything special because his aunt and uncle never told anyone they owned anything special. So, if he’s just sending random photos without any background for legitimacy’s sake, it suddenly becomes easy to believe an overworked associate fielding hundreds of inquiries by people hoping for a miracle every day/week/etc. would barely give Ron’s a glance.

That’s where coincidence and fate come in. Where strangers just passing by see something odd and spark a more specific line of questioning as far as authenticity and value are concerned. A seeming joke leads to internet searches. Uncertain phone calls lead to FBI investigators. And a poorly written collection of short stories becomes a potential series of confessions about an increasingly plausible pattern of escalating crimes.

Because Jerry and Rita Alter (performed in comedic re-enactments by Glenn Howerton and Sarah Minnich respectively) shouldn’t have been able to hang Willem de Kooning’s “Woman-Ochre” on their bedroom wall. They probably shouldn’t have been able to travel to exotic locales three times a year annually either, but we’re trained to not question such things.

Maybe they came from money (because their salaries surely weren’t enough). Maybe they just knew where to find great deals. No one automatically thinks larceny. Not when peering at these two smiling lovebirds sharing their slideshows and souvenirs. People aspired to have what they had. Jerry and Rita were a nice wholesome couple to all but a handful of those with a bit more intimate knowledge about those trips. And if they’re willing to not be flashy about their crimes, why look any deeper?

It’s a shame no one did—both for the sake of the law and the film. This is an utterly transfixing story told with an infectious tone, but it’s about 80% speculation. And while that speculation is fun, the whole can feel like spinning wheels for long passages with Ron, his son, the antique dealers who found the de Kooning, and multiple law enforcement agents all just saying the same things: “Could they have? I guess they could!”

Every revelation is therefore hearsay. Every new road forward is a dead end towards a smirk and a shrug by people who believe the hypotheses and yet can do nothing about them. That too is interesting; that the Alters were good enough to remain “innocent” now since no one knows how anything got into their possession (maybe the thieves duped them). But the film comes from a premise of “gotcha” without being able to actually say it (despite constantly pretending it can). It’s entertaining yet incomplete.

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Glenn Howerton and Sarah Minnich in THE THIEF COLLECTOR; courtesy of FilmRise.