Rating: NR | Runtime: 149 minutes
Release Date: January 28th, 2023 (USA)
Director(s): Tom Ryan
Writer(s): Tom Ryan & Todd Staruch

Have you seen any good movies lately?

Much like his 2019 omnibus The Theatre of Terror, writer/director Tom Ryan again uses his production company’s moniker to deliver a second feature-length compilation of his latest four shorts: Return to the Theatre of Terror. Set inside the auditorium of a shutdown cinema, Colin (Ryan) appears as usher and projectionist to help us find our seat alongside a young boy named Jack (Jack Ryan) who stumbled in while goofing around with his friend Cody (Cody Cario) outside. Some banter comments on the current state of film (Jack likes watching movies on his phone) before Colin fires up the first title with a cautionary warning. What starts as popcorn fodder soon shifts to unexplained horrors, bleeding off the screen to ensure their viewer receives a first-class experience in low budget scares.

That’s the first thing you should know going in. This is as indie as indie gets. While that means the odd distraction (fake mustaches, iPhone lock screens, etc.), it doesn’t mean a lack of effort or ingenuity. The special effects throughout are quite good and the acting (courtesy of faces you may recognize from television) always gets the job done. If I were to criticize one thing about the whole, it would be the runtime because two-and-a-half hours is a large commitment it cannot sustain. Most of that is the result of chapter two’s “Splinter” being an hour all its own, but I’d argue every short besides the first, “Soothsayer”, could do with some trimming. “Splinter” and “Haunted” fall prey to too much *telling* despite both already *showing* everything we need and “Robot” can get a bit repetitive as we wait for the titular object to charge.

“Soothsayer” is the best of the bunch—a true “Twilight Zone” homage that deals in the emotional consequences arising from knowing that which you shouldn’t know. Dr. Robert Serling (Anthony Robert Grasso) and Karen Wells (Samantha Lacey Johnson) have created a time traveling machine that replaces physical transference with mental projection. It’s an intriguing spin on a familiar trope that leaves the brief images a traveler sees without the context necessary to truly know what they mean. Are they destined to occur? And, if so, will anything their witness does to alter them only guarantee they come to pass?

“Splinter” should be the best and it would be with some additional editing to tighten things up and give the audience the benefit of the doubt as far as fully comprehending what Ryan is doing. The constant bombardment of literal visual proof undermines the script’s ability to let the implicit speak. Because there’s more to its make-up effects surface than meets the eye once it touches upon generational trauma and karmic retribution in a setting ravaged by tragedy at the hands of colonizers. Mature themes dealing with complicity and abandonment move from their impact on a single family (Jim Thalman and Kristin Muri’s Scott and Teresa Wills) to a town covered in the blood of innocent souls. It proves to be the most memorable regardless.

“Haunted” is a lot of fun. Brett Eidman is having a great time as charlatan Carl McGavin, a “ghostbuster” of sorts who charges naive women $800 to close windows and push in plugs so they aren’t “terrorized” by the cool breezes and flickering lights of poltergeists. So, when we witness what looks to be a real haunting in Heather Freeling’s (Jennifer Plotzke) house courtesy of her daughter Carolyn’s (Emma Waldron) stuffed animals floating in the air, we anticipate a comeuppance. Carl will think it’s their imagination until seeing it with his own eyes and realizing he has no clue what to do, right? Not quite. He will eventually face the consequences of his lies, but it comes with a surprising genre switch.

“Robot” is the slightest of the bunch despite its underlying theme of domestic abuse. Since that violence is used more as a catalyst for where its sci-fi premise will target its aggression than something to truly dig into and explore, however, it’s difficult to really take its superficial presence seriously. We know the robot Jack (Ryan) finds near a meteorite crash site is the real focal point, so we’re mostly made to wait and see what it has in store. Will it protect its new owner? Or does it have ambitions of its own?

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Jim Thalman in RETURN TO THE THEATRE OF TERROR.