REVIEW: Ghosted [2023]

Rating: PG-13 | Runtime: 116 minutes
Release Date: April 21st, 2023 (USA)
Studio: Apple TV+
Director(s): Dexter Fletcher
Writer(s): Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick and Chris McKenna & Erik Sommers / Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick (story)

I think she might be the one.

It’s funny that people apparently think Dexter Fletcher’s Ghosted has a supernatural element since it obviously doesn’t. It’s funnier that he and the screenwriters (originated by Deadpool scribes Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick before getting rewrites from MCU Spider-Man scribes Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers) were cognizant enough about the thought to ensure one of their characters (Tate Donovan’s aptly named “Dad”) would also be confused enough to warrant an in-film definition of the title once Cole Turner’s (Chris Evans) sister Mattie (Lizze Broadway) jokes that her brother has been “ghosted” by the woman he believes could be “the one” because he’s already texted her (emojis count) eleven times in two days post-first date. Once that’s out of the way, the film can finally be what it is: a familiar buddy rom-com that pairs a Regular Joe (Evans) with a deadly CIA Agent (Ana de Armas’ Sadie Rhodes) on a mission to save the world.

I’m never not surprised by the number of copycats coming out of Hollywood while those hoping to take a risk on something new never get the financing to attempt changing the game. Why gamble millions of dollars on a cool idea when you can breathe easy with a safe genre film that’s beat-for-beat identical to countless others because you know A-listers Evans and de Armas are a big enough draw to break even? It’s a silly for-profit dance that unfortunately puts the filmmakers in the crosshairs since the result can never be as good as its theoretical potential. Everyone involved can get the job done successfully with chemistry, special effects, and comedy, but it will always be another empty calorie popcorn flick. They get paid, we have fun, and a few months later the same concept is recycled into another flashy package that accepts its mediocrity the moment someone yells, “Action.”

What does that mean for the project at-hand? It means that I was entertained for two-hours and forgot all about it the moment the credits ended (save for marking down the timestamp of an effective and funny f-bomb to gif later for my site). Chris Evans plays a good damsel in distress once his grand romantic gesture to stalk Sadie across the Atlantic puts him in restraints opposite a ruthless man ready to torture him with dangerous insects because he thinks Cole is someone else. Ana de Armas is a great cutthroat agent who always puts “mission above man”—sentiments that are comically portrayed by more than one ex who lost a limb(s) for no other reason than proximity to her. Their rapport is fantastic; their frustrations hilarious (even if the running joke about them needing to “get a room” grows stale fast). The plot becomes secondary to their dynamic.

This is both a testament to them as performers and evidence that the plot leaves a lot to be desired. Not only is it familiar, but it’s also riddled with lazy gags such as a long line of famous cameos coming on-board to mock themselves while over-extending an eye-roll of a joke. Half the time the film wants us to really feel the stakes (as if either Cole or Sadie are ever truly in fear of being killed amidst the cartoonish action) while the other half wants to jab us in the ribs with a wink for just how clever it is. So, go in with low expectations. Enjoy the ride for what it is (over-the-top antics rather than hyper-stylized flair despite the final showdown wanting so very much to be a budget John Wick) and let Adrien Brody chew scenery with a French accent as our heroes’ cold-blooded villain. Then go back to your day. Because Ghosted is truly too innocuous to feign even the mildest of emotions either way.