REVIEW: Jupiter Ascending [2015]

“The problem with astrology … total bullshit” Sometimes filmgoers simply want to be entertained and often don’t mind when the means of that fun skews towards the headier side of things—no matter how implausible, campy, or convenient that direction proves. Jupiter Ascending isn’t trying to sell itself as some grand magnum opus that cures cancer; it’s merely a new space opera from the blockbuster sci-fi duo Wachowski Starship (Andy and Lana). They were commissioned by the studio to write exactly that in the hopes of franchise viability. Do I see…

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REVIEW: The Expendables 2 [2012]

“Can’t beat a classic” And here I thought the buzz was about how much The Expendables 2 made good on the promise set forth and not quite attained by The Expendables. It was going to be chock-full of humorous banter, over-the-top antics, bloody pulpy carnage, and as much fun as one berserker action flick can contain. There would be story, a worthy villain, and a reason for guys like Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jean-Claude Van Damme to come back from the shadows of obscurity. It wasn’t like these guys…

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REVIEW: The Expendables [2010]

“I woulda win” When a summer movie season can be described as disappointing and have it be an understatement, nothing says popcorn blockbuster better than a big budget action flick. 2010 never quite had anything to fit the bill, but that wasn’t going to stop Sylvester Stallone from attempting to bring the masses something close. The hype has been huge as Sly compiled a who’s who cast of action stars (relevant and not), fringe athletes, and badass character folk like Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke to literally blow up anything…

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