REVIEW: It [1990]

“It just isn’t empirically possible” Considering I was around ten-years old when first seeing Tommy Lee Wallace‘s “It”—I’m pretty sure it was post-1990 since I was only eight then—my memory held its adaptation of Stephen King‘s novel in high regard. I probably watched bits and pieces over the next could decades, always believing it to be scary for more reasons than just Tim Curry‘s performance as Pennywise the clown. Something about the underbelly of suburbia and the idea that malevolence exists to force its residents into doing nightmarish acts struck…

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REVIEW: Mars Needs Moms [2011]

“A world of trash … it is awesome!” And the hippies shall inherit the world—said world being Mars, of course. Ours has already pushed that faction of humanity to the fringes in order to wallow in their pot smoke, unwashed bodies, and ratty hair far from the rest of society. And by we I mean the generalized average of Earth. Not me. I love petula oil and Cherry Garcia. But when it comes to the new animated film Mars Needs Moms—distributed by Walt Disney but not created by them—hippies are…

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REVIEW: Sex Drive [2008]

“I refuse to be embarrassed by a car that looks like a Trapper Keeper” Not to badmouth American Pie, I actually really enjoyed it and its sequels, albeit less with each installment (and I mean the theatrically released offspring), but I must blame it for the dearth of quality for copycats each year. Sure there are some surprises—Eurotrip, I know, I really liked it, sue me—mixed in with the drivel, it’s just a shame they are so few and far between. Nothing will ever compare to the greats such as…

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