REVIEW: The Lone Ranger [2013]

“A fairly sinister jar of pickles at the bar” To sum up Disney’s big budget reboot of Fran Striker and George W. Trendle’s radio show turned television hit The Lone Ranger in one word conjures “silly”. It’s silly to read how Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio’s original script involved werewolves—John Reid’s outlaw does use silver bullets after all. It’s silly—and offensive—that the producers cast a movie star like Johnny Depp in the role of Tonto when so many Native American actors could have performed the role effectively. (And yes, the…

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REVIEW: Rango [2011]

“Ain’t no one gonna tango with the Rango” Director Gore Verbinski knows star Johnny Depp’s penchant for fast-talk rambling only too well. After helming the original Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, he decided to take an odd turn into animation with the PG-rated Rango, taking his lead with him for the journey. Using a quasi-motion capture technique, the actors actually performed their roles, the footage later animated in character to mimic the motion and expressions of each. So, even though we see an awkward chameleon in a Hawaiian shirt—it’s not…

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REVIEW: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End [2007]

“Oooo, a peanut” I will preface this review by saying if you did not enjoy the first two Pirates movies, you shouldn’t be seeing the third. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is the final part of a very cohesive trilogy. There are no recaps between the films; they consist of a single story that is to be followed part by part. You must watch the first movie to be introduced to our heroes and supporting players because it is their actions here that make them the people they…

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REVIEW: Pulse [2006]

“Do you want to meet a ghost?” Why does Hollywood insist on remaking movies from foreign countries when they haven’t even been out for five years? If Asian horror is really the best form of the genre out there, why don’t production companies buy distribution rights and show them stateside? Instead they spend that money to get rights and then invest even more to get actors and a production off the ground for a full-blown reshoot. I mean when has an American remake ever been better than the original? Yeah,…

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REVIEW: Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest [2006]

“Hide the rum” Disney hit gold figuratively and literally in 2003 with a successful theme park ride adaptation. (While I loved the movie, please don’t get me started on the whole adding Jack Sparrow to the attractions in Florida and California, thus ruining tradition and memories of childhood…it just hurts too much.) In the world of Hollywood today, we all knew that that success would lead to a franchise. It’s a good thing that the filmmakers seemed to of had the same amount of fun as the audience because they…

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