REVIEW: The Man with the Iron Fists [2012]

“When it comes to money, things get funny” Far from anything resembling a Kung Fu aficionado, I entered into RZA‘s directorial debut The Man with the Iron Fists with a lesser of many evils mentality. The theatre was to be my safe haven while my car got its oil change and of the two or three flicks I hadn’t yet seen, the potential sideshow of Jungle Village seemed the best way to spend ninety minutes. The Tarantino seal of approval and co-writing credit to Eli Roth did little to temper…

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TIFF12 REVIEW: Aftershock [2013]

“I’ll buy you a new hand” When opening credits begin with ‘an Eli Roth film’, you should know what to expect. While not quite his creatively—it’s directed by Nicolás López—the torture porn maestro does get a writing credit to accompany his producer and star statuses. With an act structure pretty much identical to Hostel, the fact it is less polished and includes a much more pronounced comedic bent allows viewers to experience a different reaction. Its Chilean setting provides a wealth of partying to be had by our leading trio…

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REVIEW: Piranha 3D [2010]

“We are off to shoot some wild porn with these wild, wild goddesses” You have to respect Piranha 3D director Alexandre Aja—although question how a guy who made his name with Haute tension could have his career fall to comedic horrors—and writers Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg for giving credit where credit was due, specially thanking the original Piranha’s helmer, Joe Dante. Right from the start, they knew this endeavor was one of homage and heavy exploitation; they’re mission to get as much blood, boobs, and chewed up flesh onscreen…

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REVIEW: Српски филм [Srpski film] [A Serbian Film] [2010]

“Victim is the priciest sell in the world” I really hope Eli Roth isn’t watching because Srdjan Spasojevic has just made Hostel look like a child’s fairy tale. After seeing Српски филм [A Serbian Film], I can only imagine directors of the torture porn genre salivating at the prospect of going even further—if it’s possible to fathom there being a ‘further’. I don’t think I could handle a response, the horrors of the final forty minutes of this wanton display of pedophilia, necrophilia, rape, and murder are finding their way…

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REVIEW: The Human Centipede (First Sequence) [2010]

“Mein lieber 3-hund” Everyone needs a hobby. Hitler was a painter, Mussolini a violinist, Hussein’s was plain and simple torture, and I love watching movies. But what about Germany’s most acclaimed and celebrated surgeon for separating Siamese twins? Here is a guy with one of the most high pressured jobs in existence, having the lives of two human beings in his hands each and every time he goes to work, cleaning up what some would say are God’s mistakes. So what could he possibly do when he arrives back home?…

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REVIEW: Inglourious Basterds [2009]

“F*ck a duck!” I like to think that the sheer fact Inglourious Basterds got made means that Quentin Tarantino isn’t all talk. Maybe, just maybe, that Whole Bloody Affair DVD compilation of the Kill Bills will come out. For now though, we should all be happy QT is back to form after his, in my opinion, misstep with Death Proof. As with his previous feature films, Basterds is above genres, mixing so much cinematic history and style to become a beast all its own. Parts WWII drama, parts comedy of…

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REVIEW: Hostel: Part II [2007]

“I’m not that guy” The original Hostel was a film that allowed the viewers to sympathize with the victims of an underground Eastern European killing club. With Eli Roth’s newest entry into the “torture porn” genre, he has subverted his protagonists. Hostel: Part II is very much a film about the killers, the men who have come to Slovakia in order to gain the power and knowledge of having killed another human being. I am a huge fan of the first film and thought that it was both stylish and…

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REVIEW: Grindhouse – Planet Terror & Death Proof [2007]

“These guys got the devil in them” A double-bill, Rodriguez and Tarantino—two of the most entertaining directors working today—faux trailers, and a 70’s pulp aesthetic…can a movie of this magnitude ever live up to the almost Godlike expectations for it? Generally there is no way the real thing can meet the hype, but with the amount of talent and creativity involved here, how could Grindhouse be anything but a masterpiece? Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino know their genres and are never afraid to mix in a little violence or camp…

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REVIEW: 13 Tzameti [2006]

“Your man kills a third and there’ll be a bonus for you” If you desire to see an edge of your seat thriller, definitely take the opportunity to go downtown to the Market Arcade Theatre and check out the enthralling, French-language 13 Tzameti, while you still have the opportunity. This film is a debut that any veteran director would love to have included in his/her filmography. A minimalist film in terms of dialogue and set, the real magic lies in the performances. Each character has his life on the line…

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REVIEW: Hostel [2005]

“Elite Hunting” I have to applaud writer/director Eli Roth for what he has created in Hostel. To me this film is not as much a horror flick as a thriller told with all the gruesome brutality intact. There are no scares, no haunting music crescendoing, and no jump in your seat moments that we expect from the genre. Yes, we get blood and gore and uncut severing of body parts, the film is definitely not for the squeamish, however, Roth tells it in such a way that we as an…

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