REVIEW: Child’s Play [1988]

I’ll be your friend to the end. The rough cut of Tom Holland‘s Child’s Play was around two hours and test audiences weren’t happy. Almost forty minutes were excised (and boy can you tell) before the film saw the light of day and eventually earned an insanely devoted cult following that’s seen six sequels (so far) with original screenwriter Don Mancini taking up the reigns for the last three. As such, it’s wild to think how different his initial draft was. Mancini first imagined a conceit that involved the transference…

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REVIEW: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers [2002]

“Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall” The second part of a trilogy is oftentimes the worst. It exists in a no man’s land without beginning or end, a bridge we must wait for and wait further to continue that cannot survive on its own. So it’s therefore a rarity when this chapter possesses the ability to tell its story in a way that allows for its own success while also augmenting the larger whole. J.R.R. Tolkien understood this when he wrote The Lord of the Rings. Even though…

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REVIEW: Alien: Resurrection [1997]

“You’re a beautiful, beautiful butterfly” An obvious predecessor to screenwriter Joss Whedon‘s revered “Firefly”, Alien: Resurrection breathes new life into a franchise that could have easily been left alone. Reviving the iconic Ellen Ripley through the hot button topic of cloning, his script found a way to coax Sigourney Weaver back with a uniquely dark spin on the character. Part alien, part human, and all Petri dish, ‘Number 8’ is cognizant of her former self’s rage against the xenomorphs two hundred years before while also acknowledging her role as mother…

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REVIEW: Priest [2011]

“There has always been man and there have always been vampires” The war may be over but the false sense of peace is merely a charade. All the church has needed to keep order is the lie cultivated that vampires have been neutralized. While the battle that waged for years and risked worldwide destruction may have ended, the threat remains. With the help of priests—clergymen trained in the art of vampire combat—the church found a way to win in darkness. These men and women tattooed with a cross down the…

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REVIEW: Halloween II [2009]

“Hit the bricks Dorothy” The second Halloween II—same name, no relation at all, (or so I hear, never saw the other). Rob Zombie seems to have decided that his selling out and doing a Hollywood budgeted horror remake left a little to be desired. So, for his second go-round, he went back to the well and what got him on the shortlist to even direct that first film—creepy carnie mayhem. This film is not good, by any means, yet it does have some really great style and aesthetic. Unfortunately, it…

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REVIEW: Halloween [2007]

“He has come back for his baby sister” I love the backlash that has been thrown about since this “re-envisioning” of John Carpenter’s horror classic Halloween was announced. At first I agreed with them, why remake a film that everyone loves? However, I am not the biggest fan of the original, I find it a tad boring, and I have been intrigued by Rob Zombie ever since he tossed aside his rock day job for director threads. I haven’t seen his previous two efforts, but I’ve been wanting to and…

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REVIEW: Pulse [2006]

“Do you want to meet a ghost?” Why does Hollywood insist on remaking movies from foreign countries when they haven’t even been out for five years? If Asian horror is really the best form of the genre out there, why don’t production companies buy distribution rights and show them stateside? Instead they spend that money to get rights and then invest even more to get actors and a production off the ground for a full-blown reshoot. I mean when has an American remake ever been better than the original? Yeah,…

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