REVIEW: Torn Hearts [2022]

You weren’t welcome to begin with, dear. Keeping things in the family isn’t always easy—just as the Gallagher Brothers. Blood doesn’t mean anything once fame and fortune enter the fray because outside interests will begin to whisper and divide until the world discovers two halves aren’t quite as good as the whole. That’s not saying Noel’s High Flying Birds or Liam’s Beady Eye are bad. They’ve both created some good music post-break-up, but neither reached the heights Oasis had. The former’s music and latter’s voice built something that could only…

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REVIEW: Firestarter [2022]

When you see her, you will understand. My initial impulse upon rewatching the original movie was to read the novel assuming something got lost in translation to make it feel so boring on-screen. Now that I’ve seen director Keith Thomas and screenwriter Scott Teems‘ latest adaptation of Stephen King‘s Firestarter, however, I’m beginning to wonder whether the source material is just dull. Because a lot has changed this go-round. The fact there’s only thirty minutes left by the time Andy (Zac Efron) and Charlie McGee (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) make it…

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REVIEW: Firestarter [1984]

You don’t need your gun. I haven’t read Stephen King‘s Firestarter, but I must believe it has more going for it than Mark L. Lester‘s adaptation. Why make it into a film at all if not? If I were to guess, the problem occurred when the producers hired Stanley Mann to create a new script that leaned more closely to the novel after Christine director John Carpenter had already commissioned two before exiting the project. There’s a difference between making a film version of a book and filming the book—something…

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REVIEW: De uskyldige [The Innocents] [2021]

Can I just listen? You’ve seen De uskyldige [The Innocents] before. Whether the telekinetic powers, battle between good and evil, or exploitation of neurodevelopmental disorders like Autism to supply a character a sense of power that contrasts preconceived prejudices, everything Eskil Vogt puts into his script is familiar in some way. What makes it so uniquely different in tone and expectation is therefore the choice to project those tropes onto children. His decision becomes an evolutionary progression forward from Max Landis and Josh Trank‘s Chronicle in that the sort of…

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REVIEW: Shepherd [2021]

No one does nothing. The incongruities abound at the start of Russell Owen‘s Shepherd to put us in a state of unease the moment we discover Eric Black’s (Tom Hughes) wife Rachel (Gaia Weiss) has died at sea, her body lost. He and those who knew her fill her coffin with memories and keepsakes instead, a pile of objects that appear contemporary in their appearance despite them now inhabiting an old-timey wooden planked box sealed shut with rough nails from a bygone era. Did my eyes deceive me? Were Rachel’s…

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REVIEW: We’re All Going to the World’s Fair [2022]

I don’t know what to expect. While the term “creepypasta” is not used in Jane Schoenbrun‘s We’re All Going to the World’s Fair, it definitely helps to know what it is in order to decipher what’s going on. The word is a catch-all for most horror related content on the internet wherein creators tell dark tales of violence, death, and the supernatural with the main goal of scaring their viewers. As many know courtesy of the so-called “Slender Man stabbing” back in 2014, these stories and characters can “come to…

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REVIEW: Virus :32 [2022]

Today is not a day to be scared of madness. An unknown virus has spread throughout Montevideo, causing a zombie-like apocalypse scenario. No one knows what it is or where it came from, but signs of aggression leading up to the all-out carnage were there for anyone looking. Iris (Paula Silva) wasn’t. Her existence of late has epitomized not paying attention as a means of survival. She’s retreated from loved ones (Franco Rilla as her husband Javi and Pilar Garcia as their daughter Tata) in order to numb her pain…

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REVIEW: Night’s End [2022]

It’s just about moving forward. About halfway through director Jennifer Reeder and writer Brett Neveu‘s Night’s End, a character explains to Ken Barber (Geno Walker) that the ghost haunting his apartment may in fact be haunted herself. Colin Albertson (Lawrence Grimm), the occult author whose book inspired Ken to create a “spirit jar” in hopes of exorcising his unwanted guest, details research into the ghost’s identity which would point to her own mother becoming a demonic presence desperate to torture her child’s trapped soul in a “ghost loop.” While that’s…

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REVIEW: Little Shop of Horrors [1986]

I’m just a mean green mother from outer space and I’m bad. Know which version of Little Shop of Horrors you’re watching before sitting down because you might be in for a surprise if you don’t. Having grown up with the theatrical cut often finding its way onto my television, I have a clear picture of how the story is supposed to end. There’s a visual reprise of the “Somewhere That’s Green” sequence with bright lights, mowed grass, and an outrageously strange bud popping out from the middle of a…

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REVIEW: Offseason [2022]

Wherever I went, there they were. When your dementia-riddled mother starts screaming about nightmares following her and demons crawling out from the water, it doesn’t matter how lucid she appeared to be beforehand. You tell her what she wants to hear, try to make her as calm and comfortable as possible, and wait for the inevitable. That’s what Marie Aldrich (Jocelin Donahue) did when Ava’s (Melora Walters) clear eyes and confident voice spun an outlandish tale surrounding the isolated island where she grew up and left without ever going back.…

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REVIEW: The Seed [2022]

I feel amazing. Childhood friends Charlotte (Chelsea Edge), Heather (Sophie Vavasseur), and Deidre (Lucy Martin) never get to hang out anymore. Life and adulthood have a tendency of keeping once inseparable cliques apart, but they’re hoping a once-in-a-lifetime meteor shower is just the excuse to finally get them together again. What better reason is there for Heather to use her father’s isolated modern mansion in the middle of nowhere? She can cajole Charlotte’s analog and low maintenance “nerd” away from her nine-to-five grind as well as Deidre’s ultra-popular social media…

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