Rating: 6 out of 10.

Including the one that’s in the ten?

I thought I was the only freak who chewed their Altoids like candy regardless of their “curious” strength. I feel so seen.

With a passing mention of Dr. Grant as mentor to Dr. Loomis (Jonathan Bailey)—as well as a quick “Crichton High School” bus prop—this really is a rebirth considering the legacy cast members are nowhere to be seen. Will it stick? Will there ever be another Jurassic film without a full-on remake of the novel? Baby Dolores might have something to say about it. I’m honestly just shocked this is the first entry to get a Visual Effects Oscar nomination since The Lost World.

David Koepp and Gareth Edwards expunge what Colin Trevorrow brought to the franchise by saying Earth can no longer sustain dinosaur life beyond islands at the equator (an interesting theory considering the planet’s rising temperatures due to climate change, but I digress). So, in order for mercenaries hired by an evil capitalist (Rupert Friend) to procure the genetic material necessary for a lucrative heart disease cure, Zora’s (Scarlett Johansson) team must travel south.

Just like the in-world executive suite demanded “new” species to sell theme park tickets, Universal demands “new” on-screen mutants to keep our protagonists (rounded out by Mahershala Ali and Jonathan Bailey) on their toes while trekking through a deserted-for-two-decades island lab. Throw in a shipwrecked family of innocent civilians (led by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) and you have plenty of people to scare, kill, and see rise to the occasion.

Less a Jurassic Park film than a straight survival film wearing Jurassic Park skin, Rebirth leans into the suspense and hopes its verbosely generic plot doesn’t bore audiences to death with clunky dialogue and two-dimensional characters. A little redemption here, some altruism there, and a Dad seeing his daughter’s screw-up boyfriend in a better light. Monsters and popcorn and hubris, oh my.


D-Rex in JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH, directed by Gareth Edwards. © Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.

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