Rating: R | Runtime: 99 minutes
Release Date: February 13th, 2026 (USA)
Studio: Samuel Goldwyn Films
Director(s): Jonny Campbell
Writer(s): David Koepp / David Koepp (novel)

Momma didn’t raise no patsies.

Published six years after “The Last of Us” hit consoles, David Koepp’s Cold Storage takes a different approach to the zombie-by-way-of-fungus phenomenon. Rather than have Cordyceps evolve to infect humans due to global warming, he posits that a new strain of fungi could come from outer space—specifically due to the Skylab space station re-entering Earth’s orbit in 1979 with scattered debris falling across Western Australia. What if an experiment that was never supposed to touch our planet found its way here anyway?

Adapted by Koepp himself and directed by Jonny Campbell, the film version of his novel reveals the answer to that question straight away as DTRA agents Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini Romano (Lesley Manville) arrive just in time to watch the result of Dr. Hero Martins (Sosie Bacon) getting infected. It happens quickly and violently. So much so that the government doesn’t hesitate nuking the entire affected village. Unfortunately—because of course they would—a sample is still saved and stored for posterity.

Fast-forward twenty years via time-lapse and the secure military base housing it is inevitably retrofitted and sold to a private storage company wherein twenty-somethings Teacake (Joe Keery) and Naomi (Georgina Campbell) work the night shift for their biker pig boss Griffin (Gavin Spokes). They had no reason to question this fact or worry about its ramifications, but a chirp has suddenly manifested to spike Naomi’s curiosity and Teacake’s ire. And it’s also alerted DTFA’s “Abigail” (Ellora Torchia) to bring Robert out of retirement.

With all that crucial expository information to consume in short order so you understand the plot, it becomes laughable when someone outside that dynamic enters the picture. Why? Because we know they’ll ultimately prove pawns to the overall linear course of action en route to ensuring the main trio of characters meet for their climactic bid to save the day. There’s Mrs. Rooney (Vanessa Redgrave) taking a nap in her storage unit with a handgun. Naomi’s ex pulling in with a … handgun. Griffin’s biker gang showing up with … yup. Handguns.

To the film’s credit, however, the action caused by that firepower isn’t the focal point. It merely helps guide Teacake and Naomi where they need to go by providing room for comedy and a better sense of their personalities. It’s very on-the-nose to boil the latter down to ex-con and teen pregnancy, respectively, but we can hope Koepp gave them more nuance on the page. In the end none of it really matters beyond Teacake showing his heart and Naomi her love for her kid. Humanize them so everyone else can become expendable.

Except Robert, of course. He’s the bad ass with a bad back (I wonder if that will prove important during a pivotal moment of suspense?) who’s been warning the chain of command that global warming and American capitalism were rapidly setting the stage for this fungus to break containment for years. So, he has no qualms inspiring “Abigail” to ignore orders or preparing to decimate a portion of Kansas to complete his mission. Bring Manville’s sweet sociopath back into the fold and you must wonder if any witnesses will be left alive.

The fun comes from the interactions. You get some of it with Neeson and his former boss as well as Manville enjoying the excitement of the job again, but the majority of the laughs arrive via Keery and Campbell adjusting to their insane circumstances on the fly. Because it’s one thing to go on a wild goose chase for a chirping alarm through closed off military tunnels. It’s another to watch humans and deer (“No real animals were used in the making of this film.”) explode before their eyes with fungal goop splashing everywhere.

It’s that slimy gore-adjacent factor that will ultimately win over the horror crowd even if the only real suspense comes from whether our protagonists will beat the timer on the nuke Robert brings to the party. So much vomit is spilled and innards expelled that I’m surprised there is only one slippery floor gag. And things get even messier script-wise when considering the containment aspect since Koepp tries to raise the stakes via a storm and escapees only for each potential risk to be forgotten, minimized, or solved with zero effort.

We aren’t here for airtight plotting, though. We’re here for a good time and Cold Storage does fulfill that promise. Sometimes having so many holes to poke makes the experience more fun too. I do wish the whole didn’t feel like a two-and-a-half-hour film cut down to ninety-minutes of punch lines (by the time Teacake finally reveals the reason for his nickname, I had forgotten I ever maybe cared to learn it alongside Naomi) because it’s nearly impossible to invest beyond the spectacle. But it is what it is. I figured as much going in.

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Georgina Campbell and Joe Keery in COLD STORAGE; courtesy of Samuel Goldwyn Films.