REVIEW: She Came from the Woods [2023]

Rating: NR | Runtime: 101 minutes
Release Date: February 10th, 2023 (USA)
Studio: Tubi
Director(s): Erik Bloomquist
Writer(s): Erik Bloomquist & Carson Bloomquist

You must be a meat lover.

I’m seeing “derivative” thrown around a lot when it comes to Erik Bloomquist’s She Came From the Woods (adapted from his and brother Carson’s short film of the same name) as though it’s a bad word. Does this comedic horror wear its inspirations on its sleeves? Sure. Would I have liked it to tread more unique territory? You bet. But if you take it at face value, I’m not really sure what’s not to like for genre fans. Decent kills. Massive body count. Intriguing (if convoluted) mythology. And a game cast ready to hightail it out of Dodge or run full-speed into the carnage depending on their character’s motivation. Just like Ben (Dan Leahy) and Ashley (Sienna Hubert-Ross) teach their drama campers: you have to set the stakes high with a real sense of danger to truly hook your audience.

The Bloomquists have some fun first with their 1987-era twenty-somethings all horned up and ready to unwind once the kids they’ve been watching go home. This night is about causing trouble, having sex, and, maybe, bringing back an old urban legend from the dead. That’s Peter’s (Spencer List) hope at least as the youngest member of the Camp Briarbrook ownership clan. While older brother Shawn (Tyler Elliot Burke) drives the kids home, mother Heather (Cara Buono) puts the finishing touches on managerial paperwork, and grandfather Gilbert (William Sadler) heads back to civilization to commence his retirement, Peter and his friends gather round a fire to prick their fingers and scream “Agatha” into the night.

That’s when the nightmare begins. One murder leads to another, creepy children flock to the woods with feral hissing, and every adult—even grisled Officer Matthews (Michael Park)—who hears that witch’s name freezes in terror. It may not seem like much, but a handful of a-hole kids running around like chickens with their heads cut off while ranting and raving about dead bodies only to have their elders’ sarcastic smirks drop the instant “Agatha” is spoken proves a highly effective device. It both means that this “legend” is very much steeped in truth and that becoming her next victim is a matter of when rather than if. Some lose it and flee. Some look to sacrifice the others to survive. And the McCalisters ready to close the book once and for all.

It leans into its 80s setting to get away with some extremely poor taste jokes and plays fast and loose with characters as long as they serve the plot (regardless of whether they become forgotten soon after—see the children), but the action never drags and a willingness to make everyone expendable helps keep us invested for the duration. And besides a lengthy exposition dump towards the end, those kills are the name of the game. It’s counselors versus witch and the latter has the advantage no matter how many of the former remain breathing at any given moment. That’s all the plot we need since nothing Gilbert explains changes their fight. He gives a bit of context, lets his soldiers catch their breath, and charges towards the climax.