REVIEW: Ninja Assassin [2009]

“Weakness compels strength, betrayal begets blood” Sometimes story really doesn’t matter. I don’t say that because Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski penned a horrid piece of drivel in Ninja Assassin, but instead to make mention of the absolute lack of story at all. When you have ninja warfare with swords and awesome chained hooks, (see the cool poster), that bare resemblance to Vincent Cassel’s weapon at the end of Brotherhood of the Wolf coupled with enough computer generated blood to fill a few swimming pools, the script exists solely…

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REVIEW: Speed Racer [2008]

“See, this race is full of cheaters” I’m going to preface this review by saying I have no clue about anything “Speed Racer”. I’ve never seen the cartoon, I don’t know the ins and outs or plotlines, nor if the source material was tongue-in-cheek and campy. Truthfully, I am glad I went into the Wachowskis’ film adaptation Speed Racer this way. Perhaps the tone took me by surprise in how grating and annoying it could be at times, (I wanted to kill Spritle and Chim Chim from their first moment…

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REVIEW: The Invasion [2007]

“Civilization is an illusion, a game of pretend” Why do Hollywood producers set their sights on a talented European director, get them to film one of their scripts, and then subsequently throw it away while hiring one of their own to helm reshoots and change the entire movie? First you dump all your cash on an artistic vision and then you grow scared that the public won’t get it and therefore won’t pay to see it. So, here is a smart move, lets spend even more money to redo what…

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