REVIEW: Friday the 13th [2009]

“You should have been watching him” The scariest part of the new remake Friday the 13th … that’s right, getting into your car and realizing that the eternity was only 90 minutes. All jokes aside, what I learned from the newest installment in one of horror’s never-ending franchises is that you do not mess with Jason Voorhees’s weed. The guy has a nice little crop growing over there at Camp Crystal Lake, and he protects it with his machete and burlap bag covered grotesque mug. Honestly, the first few deaths…

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REVIEW: My Bloody Valentine 3D [2009]

“Be mine 4 ever” Well if I was a long time editor of Wes Craven films, I’d want to eventually exit his shadow and make a name for myself too. Why director Patrick Lussier decided to choose a remake to put himself out there, I don’t know, but that is what he is giving us. The man who helmed Dracula 2000 with Craven wearing the Producer cap ends a string of straight to video sequels by bringing some blood and gore back to the big screen. Normally I could care…

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