REVIEW: 10 Cloverfield Lane [2016]

“You need to eat. You need to sleep. And you need to start showing a little appreciation.” Let’s address the elephant in the room first: 10 Cloverfield Lane is not a sequel to Cloverfield no matter what the title and media suggest. The filmmakers simply thought the script (developed by Josh Campbell and Matthew Stuecken; rewritten/polished by Damien Chazelle before embarking on Whiplash) felt a lot like Matt Reeves and Drew Goddard’s handheld alien invasion thriller. J.J. Abrams agreed, added a Slusho sign, recruited his “Alias” buddy Bradley Cooper for…

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REVIEW: JeruZalem [2016]

“They say there are three gates to Hell and that night they found one of them” Is it coincidence that Google filed a new application to revive Google Glass on December 28th (despite halting production on the prototype in January) just weeks before Israeli-set horror film JeruZalem supplies a 90-minute adventure into Hell through those exact lenses (albeit a pair of fictitious knock-offs)? Yes. It’s most definitely a coincidence. But whether that technology was going to stay dead or be reborn has little bearing on Doron and Yoav Paz‘s latest…

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REVIEW: The Gallows [2015]

“He’s going to choke like Charlie” Something doesn’t add up. It does if coincidence is the name of the game (and it is), but that doesn’t make it plausible to accept any revelations Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing deliver in Act III of The Gallows. It’s not ruining anything to say a main character is the kid of a classmate of deceased teen Charlie who died during a high school play in 1993. The filmmakers meticulously ensure we know there are twenty years between that performance and the current one,…

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REVIEW: Godzilla [2014]

“Let them fight” The reason Gareth Edwards‘ rebooted Godzilla proves so effective is that it retains the thematic essence of its 1954 ancestor, Gojira. Still an over-arching metaphor for mankind’s hubris and wont to destroy everything it doesn’t understand out of fear, Dave Callaham, Max Borenstein, and multiple script doctors simply found ways to alter the DNA so it could be relevant for an American demographic rather than Japanese. I’ll be honest: we aren’t a country that enjoys watching foreign lands painted as the victim while we look on with…

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Posterized Propaganda May 2014: ‘Godzilla’, ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′, ‘Maleficent’ & More

“Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover” is a proverb whose simple existence proves the fact impressionable souls will do so without fail. This monthly column focuses on the film industry’s willingness to capitalize on this truth, releasing one-sheets to serve as not representations of what audiences are to expect, but as propaganda to fill seats. Oftentimes they fail miserably. Is it officially Summer yet? Blockbuster poster campaigns for Spidey, Magneto, Godzilla, and Seth MacFarlane would lean towards yes. Buy your popcorn and candy now because we’ve got computer generated…

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REVIEW: Super 8 [2011]

“Cut! … That was mint.” When the silhouette of a boy and his bike floats across a moon as a blue Amblin wavers its way over, you know you’re in for something special. A flood of nostalgia overwhelms and you feel like a kid again, anticipating the heartfelt tale of mystery and adventure that waits. Credit producer Steven Spielberg for refusing to update his shingle’s iconic look, retaining the fuzzy quality devoid of the computers we had become accustomed to in the 80s. Couple it with J.J. Abrams’s Bad Robot…

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The Most Anticipated Films of 2011

While Jon Favreau may say that 2011 looks to have a bloodbath summer on its hands with blockbusters galore taking 3D screens from each other, I’ll say right now that those aren’t the movies most intriguing me. Next year sees a return for Jack Sparrow, Lightning McQueen, Holmes and Watson, the Witwickys, Ethan Hunt, and, of course, everyone’s favorite Ghostface. Superheroes are king once more with Avengers, Mutants, and a delayed and beleaguered Black Beauty coming as well as our once beloved comedian Adam Sandler not only starring in a…

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REVIEW: Skyline [2010]

“What happens when the rest of the blinds fall?” How long does it take an alien invasion to wipe out Earth? According to the Brothers Strause (Colin and Greg, who last gave us Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem—a worse movie than this), less than three days. In that time, Matrix-like Sentinels morphed into a biometric composition a la “skin job” Cylons, can enter our atmosphere, mesmerize all who look into their light, and suck them up, leaving the streets and buildings below vacant. It all happens out of nowhere at…

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REVIEW: District 9 [2009]

“There’s many secrets in District 9” Can we all agree that the demise of Halo the movie could possibly be one of Hollywood’s greatest moves in the past two years? Sure, Peter Jackson was behind the scenes and his handpicked, first-time director Neill Blomkamp was crafting some pretty nifty test footage, but would the studio machine have left their vision intact? I’m hard-pressed to say yes. Instead, however, that failure led to Jackson’s funding of an original screenplay for his new buddy Neil, titled District 9, that would eventually take…

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Top 25 Films of 2008

(short and sweet and to the point; culled from watching 129 releases. constantly updated as i catch up to those i missed. click poster for review if applicable) #25: Entre les murs [The Class] directed by Laurent Cantet #24: JCVD directed by Mabrouk El Mechri #23: Boy A directed by John Crowley . #22: Cloverfield directed by Matt Reeves . . #21: Doubt directed by John Patrick Shanley . #20: Il y a longtemps que je t’aime [I’ve Loved You So Long] directed by Philippe Claudel #19: Milk directed by…

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REVIEW: [Rec] [2007]

“Don’t you see my face is shiny?” Here we have another example why people can’t stand Hollywood. 2007 saw the release of the Spanish horror/thriller [Rec], and instead of its great success bringing it overseas for a theatrical release, America decides to create its own water-downed version called Quarantine. These Spaniards have a knack for the scary these days. Think a mix between The Descent and Blair Witch Project and you will get an idea of what [Rec] is. It’s all on a routine call to rescue a woman and…

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