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REVIEW: Wild Wild West [1999]

2014/08/022014/08/03 Jared Mobarak

“Never drum on a white lady’s boobies at a big redneck dance” Let’s just say that Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise dodged a bullet by backing out of Wild Wild West during its seven-year gestation. Its script probably wasn’t nearly as off-the-wall goofy at the start considering their clout as actors, but I highly doubt either would have been up for the parody it became. While the 90s were all about the television adaptation anyway—Gibson went on to do the lackluster Maverick and Cruise the effective Mission: Impossible—I’m not sure…

REVIEW: A Million Way to Die in the West [2014]

2014/05/272016/02/23 Jared Mobarak

“Can you give Louise wrapped candies?” I do believe congratulations are in store for one Mr. Seth MacFarlane. After a successful animated comedy that survived cancellation; two follow-ups that never quite caught on with equal cheer; a bit part in the ill-fated “Flash Forward” as an actor; a ho-hum, neutered stint as Oscar host; and a brilliantly hilarious first feature that held infinite promise for what his cinematic future held, Seth’s time has officially come. I’m not talking about acquiring the fame to release albums of him crooning nor the…

REVIEW: The Lone Ranger [2013]

2013/07/012013/07/13 Jared Mobarak

“A fairly sinister jar of pickles at the bar” To sum up Disney’s big budget reboot of Fran Striker and George W. Trendle’s radio show turned television hit The Lone Ranger in one word conjures “silly”. It’s silly to read how Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio’s original script involved werewolves—John Reid’s outlaw does use silver bullets after all. It’s silly—and offensive—that the producers cast a movie star like Johnny Depp in the role of Tonto when so many Native American actors could have performed the role effectively. (And yes, the…

REVIEW: Dead Man’s Burden [2013]

2013/04/232013/07/18 Jared Mobarak

“It ever occurred to you he might of just changed his mind?” A novice when it comes to the western genre, I won’t presume to say Jared Moshe’s directorial debut is a welcome contemporary installment in an otherwise nearly forgotten style. I will, however, label Dead Man’s Burden a well-composed, detail-oriented, slow burn of a cinematic treat. Definitely not for everyone due to its pacing and starkly dry atmosphere, what sets it apart against many of today’s films is the bold choice to reveal the secrets its characters keep from…

REVIEW: Django Unchained [2012]

2012/12/192016/01/02 Jared Mobarak

“Are the bags on or off?” I’m not sure Quentin Tarantino could ever be mistaken for someone subtle, but even he may have gone too far with his latest, Django Unchained. A revenge flick drenched in blood, America’s tarnished history, and a surprising wealth of humor, what starts as a film I would have been hard-pressed to deny as being one of his best quickly buckles under its own weight towards an overblown, farcical finale that completely derails any momentum its climax builds. The auteur is a master of the…

REVIEW: Serenity [2005]

2012/01/122014/05/15 Jared Mobarak

“Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down” Seven years after hitting the theatre cold to watch what appeared to be a unique sci-fi space western, Joss Whedon‘s Serenity proves much more powerful and lush with a couple “Firefly” viewings under my belt. The film that should not have been—Fox unceremoniously canceled the television series despite fan protest post-Season One—stands on its own as a mere shadow of its potential without the contextual details of the titular spaceship and crew living inside so I implore you…

REVIEW: Cowboys & Aliens [2011]

2011/07/262014/05/25 Jared Mobarak

“God don’t care who you were, son. Only who you are.” Talk about a crowded writers’ room. With its fair share of ‘ands’ and ‘&s’ denoting who teamed with who and who came after who—Steve Oedekerk? Really? Did they originally adapt this as a potty humor comedy?—I’m going to put the onus of success on creator Scott Mitchell Rosenberg. One could argue we’ve had enough comic book adaptations, the medium being pilfered and yet seemingly endless, but sometimes a unique vision exists amongst the derivatives. Cowboys & Aliens is one…

REVIEW: Rango [2011]

2011/07/082014/06/05 Jared Mobarak

“Ain’t no one gonna tango with the Rango” Director Gore Verbinski knows star Johnny Depp’s penchant for fast-talk rambling only too well. After helming the original Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, he decided to take an odd turn into animation with the PG-rated Rango, taking his lead with him for the journey. Using a quasi-motion capture technique, the actors actually performed their roles, the footage later animated in character to mimic the motion and expressions of each. So, even though we see an awkward chameleon in a Hawaiian shirt—it’s not…

REVIEW: True Grit [2010]

2010/12/232013/07/10 Jared Mobarak

“A saucy line will not get you very far with me” The Coen Brothers have been on such a roll the past four years. While they’ve gone serious for the most part, the trademark wit has not disappeared from the dramatic entries to their oeuvre. Still able to hit the funny bone full bore—see Burn After Reading—the comedies have gone subtler with a more dire tone, (A Serious Man), and the dramas have gone grimmer themselves, right into consistent Oscar contention, (No Country for Old Men). Going back to Charles…

FILM MARATHON: Terrence Malick #1 – Badlands [1973]

2010/08/202016/01/09 Jared Mobarak

“He said that if the Devil came at me, I could shoot him with a gun” A character at the end of Terrence Malick’s debut feature film Badlands tells antihero Kit that he is “quite the individual”. This could be the understatement of 1973. Based on the 1950s Starkweather-Fugate killing spree, the film tells the tale of a 25-year old James Dean type and his 15-year old girlfriend on the run. Shy, young, and naïve, Holly falls in love with this man who somehow also picked her despite the potential…

REVIEW: I Shot Jesse James [1949]

2009/12/082011/08/24 Jared Mobarak

“Tell ‘em I’m gonna be a farmer” Back in 2007, the film The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford made my initial top ten list with its spectacle and grandeur. It was my introduction into the myth and legend of James as well as Ford, a name I was not familiar with until that point. The film was a mood piece that centered on Ford’s inclusion into the posse of robbers to the inevitable incident of the title, showing his lack of self-worth and spiteful heart towards…