REVIEW: Stake Land [2011]

“And God smote the world asunder” While Hollywood continues to give us vampire flicks that are wrapped up tidily by their conclusion, independent cinema still lives to save us from contrivance and idyllic happy ends. Jim Mickle’s Stake Land is one such venture, combining the styles of 28 Days Later with The Road, his post-apocalyptic world populated by creatures of the night looking for blood. They can’t talk, think, or work together, but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous. Whereas most entries to the genre let a simple prick…

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FILM MARATHON: Movie Musicals #10: Bugsy Malone [1976]

“I’ve spent my entire life coming back tomorrow” A director with a career infused by music for three decades, Alan Parker’s feature length debut came in the form of Bugsy Malone. Completely populated by kids under seventeen, it’s a gangster film that exists as though in an alternate reality, working on all levels whether treated seriously or as farce. The child actors are in Prohibition-era specific costumes, attend a popular speakeasy run by the biggest crime boss in town, and talk the talk as though they’ve lived the life, seen…

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REVIEW: God’s Land [2010]

“Is it a sin then to abandon your wife for God?” I have to believe the God Saves the Earth Flying Saucer Foundation did not plan on their paradise being Lockport, NY. However, when the Taiwanese cult saw March 31, 1998 come and go, the figure of God nowhere to be seen on channel 18 as promised by their leader, Teacher Chen (Jackson Ning), the next move on their pilgrimage towards salvation was the Great Lakes. Before that, however, they called Garland, TX home, a city chosen through a spiritual…

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Posterized Propaganda August 2011: Summer Excess vs. Indie Class

“Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover” is a proverb whose simple existence proves the fact that impressionable souls will do so without fail. This monthly column focuses on the film industry’s willingness to capitalize on this truth, releasing one-sheets to serve as not representations of what audiences are to expect, but as propaganda to fill seats. Oftentimes they fail miserably. It’s sad to say, but August 2011 is a dismal month for quality poster design. I guess this shouldn’t be too big a surprise since it’s the tail end…

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REVIEW: The Change-Up [2011]

“Rotate your turret and go night night” It may be overly derisive to say, especially from a guy who watched Like Father Like Son and Vice Versa religiously during the late-80s, but The Change-Up has to end up being the laziest piece of cinema released this year. Scribed by the duo behind both Hangover flicks, Jon Lucas and Scott Moore appear to be making a conscious effort to create ‘modern updates’ of tired concepts. After the ho-hum, not as bad as it should have been Ghosts of Girlfriends Past redid…

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FILM MARATHON: Movie Musicals #9: Singin’ in the Rain [1952]

“Dignity, always dignity” With just two Oscar nominations—for supporting actress and musical score—the lack of love for Singin’ in the Rain at its release shouldn’t be too surprising. Crafted by MGM’s Arthur Freed to reuse the songs he and Nacio Herb Brown wrote for a slew of musicals in the 1930s, the film feels like a pastiche from start to finish, its flimsy underlying look behind the scenes at a few silent movie stars making the transition to talkies a simple construct on which to sing and dance. No disrespect…

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REVIEW: 30 Minutes or Less [2011]

“You? An adult? You had a Lunchables for dinner last night!” Hot off the success of his feature length debut Zombieland, director Ruben Fleischer reunites with Jesse Eisenberg to bring Michael Diliberti’s screenplay to life. Entitled 30 Minutes or Less, it can be easily deduced that Eisenberg’s Nick is a pizza delivery boy. Speeding through stop signs, red lights, and utilizing his parking brake for screeching 180s in order to satisfy customers and not have his paycheck docked for freebies, this is not the neurotic, socially challenged character we’re used…

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REVIEW: Cowboys & Aliens [2011]

“God don’t care who you were, son. Only who you are.” Talk about a crowded writers’ room. With its fair share of ‘ands’ and ‘&s’ denoting who teamed with who and who came after who—Steve Oedekerk? Really? Did they originally adapt this as a potty humor comedy?—I’m going to put the onus of success on creator Scott Mitchell Rosenberg. One could argue we’ve had enough comic book adaptations, the medium being pilfered and yet seemingly endless, but sometimes a unique vision exists amongst the derivatives. Cowboys & Aliens is one…

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REVIEW: Rio [2011]

“Sing it, Lionel” Always playing third fiddle to the powerhouses of Pixar and Dreamworks, Sony Pictures’ Blue Sky Studios has held their own with the Ice Age franchise and a couple supporters. Their newest endeavor, Rio, looks to try and recreate a bit of the magic from their competitor’s Madagascar, setting the tale in an exotic locale—Brazil—and populating it with a blend of random humor, violin playing sentimentality, and an eccentric hoard of hive-mind beasts for slapstick entertainment. The music is unfortunately not up to snuff, giving a film aimed…

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REVIEW: Crazy, Stupid, Love. [2011]

“Be better than the Gap” Love can make you do stupid things. Love can drive you crazy. It can break your heart, make you better than you ever thought you could be, or be used as a reason to cling on when there is nothing left to hold. We seek it out, question whether it’s true, hope he or she feels the same, and pray that it’s enough. Even when we do something that should sever all bonds for eternity, somehow there is always a tiny miniscule thread with the…

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REVIEW: The Smurfs [2011]

“Is my thinking interrupting your vile hacking?” I think Grouchy says it best during goodbyes with his human counterparts in The Smurfs. “I hated it so much … less than expected.” He then caps it off with, “but I did hate it”, sentiments I assumed I’d share before sitting down at my screening and was surprised to find absent. It actually isn’t that bad—but I didn’t love it. Director Raja Gosnell is no stranger to live action/animation hybrids having helmed two Scooby Doos and a Beverly Hills Chihuahua. His decision…

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