REVIEW: Rumor Has It [2005]

“They certainly have”

Why Rob Reiner, why? I mean I understand there might not be much good material out there these days, but really. I mean you directed Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, A Few Good Men, and This is Spinal Tap. What is up with the drivel nowadays, especially with this horrid attempt at cinematic art, Rumor Has It? I actually thought the premise had promise from the trailer—the real story of The Graduate. Intriguing and a decent cast attached, this should at the least be watchable. Unfortunately it most certainly is not, and I will even admit to not seeing the whole thing. I missed a bit of the beginning and the very end, but I don’t care. This is coming from a guy who won’t start a film if even a second has been missed. That is how forgettable the movie is.

We have Jennifer Aniston about to get married, following her younger sister who has just tied the knot. She gets cold feet after finding out that her deceased mother and living grandmother were the inspiration for The Graduate, along with a man named Beau Burroughs. This revelation sends her off to find him and find out about her mother and whether her own conception made her mom leave her true love for the father. Of course she will end up completing the family heritage by sleeping with the man and thus getting even more confused about the situation. We all know that these little bumps in the road work themselves out, and even though I don’t know for sure how it all ended, I am positive all smelled like roses and Burroughs was the reason everyone found out what it was they all truly wanted.

The dialogue is mostly tragic and dripping with sappy clichés. At one point I was ready to just leave the room because the yelling and the acting was so over the top. We have Shirley MacLaine and Richard Jenkins, both of whom I like, on opposite ends of the phone with Aniston yelling on one side and Mena Suvari being more annoying than usual on the other. I literally was jarred from any semblance of continuity as the flow utterly screeched to a halt. The whole thing is predictable, ordinary, and pretty much sad overall. You know you’re in trouble when Kevin Costner’s performance is actually the one you are hoping to keep popping up. Not that he is a horrible actor, but honestly, he should never be the best one onscreen for an hour and a half. Especially when you have a guy like Mark Ruffalo, who can hit anything out of the park. Alas, besides being hugely underused, I just have to say, please go back to your indie roots and show the brilliance from films like XX/XY and We Don’t Live Here Anymore. Zodiac showed it was still there; you don’t need the money from films like this anymore.

Rumor Has It 3/10 | ★

photography:
[1] Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Costner in Warner Bros. Pictures’ and Village Roadshow Pictures’ romantic comedy “Rumor Has It,” distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. Photo by Melissa Moseley

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